It's time for the Preseason Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback report.
I got to watch the Browns V Lions game live and the Patriots V Washington game later on. There were some great funnies this week and I can't wait to bring them to you.
But first, the Honorable Mentions from the Hall of Fame game!!
"They're going to give it to him."
Give him what? Is it a menage?
Ooh! Does he look like Alcide?
"A little cut in the hole."
Ouch! That sounds really painful!
"He's a load."
Or does he have a load? Just asking.
"Trying to jam that one in."
Again, ouch. Jamming? If they're up for it, then okay, but sounds rougher than I like.
"Getting his hand in there."
In where? Curious minds want to know.
Weren't those fun? I thought so. Now for the Funnies of the Week for Preseason Week One. Boy, were there some oddities. Here we go!
"Dumping it in."
There is a lot of things going IN places, but no one says where the IN is.
"At third down, they do not get off."
Aw. That's a shame.
"Coming against the fullback and he's going to win that every time."
Oh, so it's a contest? What are they coming with?
"Pressure coming into the face of the quarterback."
Pressure with what? Is it messy?
"Do I go back in again or is it in time?"
This was asked of a player and it sounds kinky. If he or she likes it, then go in again.
Ah, it's the time to get the condoms out!
"Eats up two bodies."
Um...what does? I'm scared.
Now it's time for the Doozy of the Week. There were some great ones, but this one came from the Patriots and Redskins game. I'm still impressed they said it.
"Only place you can put it. Then he extends himself, tucks it in and protects the ball."
He's talking about protecting the football, but the first thing I thought of was protecting the testicles. Yeah, my mind went there.
The Bengals didn't win the first preseason game, but that's not terrible. The big cats didn't come out quite yet. When it's time, they will. I have faith. Still, a win would be good.
Stay tuned for next week and thanks for reading!
Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0
via Wikimedia Commons